Whatever ails us

I’m always amazed whenever I read a thread about whether a slave is really a slave if they suffer from depression or whether I’m dominant enough because I yield authority whenever a migraine hits danae or if she’s having a really bad day.

Really?

Being in the lifestyle doesn’t give us a reason to stop being human.

Bad days are just part of the human condition. It doesn’t make us “less than” anything. I’m definitely not in the lifestyle to be in a race or in a comparison of our dicks to see who is the better d-type. I’ve maintained the road that resonates best with danae and I because that’s what we decided from the onset. There is no one “twue” way for any of us and folks need to start figuring that out for themselves.

At the end of the day and after the cum stains fade away, we’re still human with very real issues, very real scars and very real difficulties. It’s a matter of choice whether we’re invested for the long haul or if it’s really just a 6 month soiree’. If it’s the latter, at least have the audacity to communicate that with one another. Don’t use someone’s depression, arthritis, or other ailment as an excuse to discard them after you find the “newer, better model.” Be strong enough to say what you feel and what your intentions and expectations are.

Moreover, have enough integrity to admit that you’re a player when you take what you want under the guise of pretending to be someone you’re not. Telling an s-type that you want them totally and completely means just that. Saying you’re in it for the long term, means just that. D-types, if you’ve decided your s-type is “less than,” it’s really YOU who is – not them.

The s-types are being who they are – as promised, now it’s up to you to deliver.

Be the D-type you tout, not the D-type figment you dreamt up.

SCC #115

tumblr_niqtrmAwpP1tuyadfo1_1280Prompt Set #115

– Has your everyday language been altered by your lifestyle language?
I use words like Master daily so yes I guess it has been altered. I hear things in words also that I might not have before such as words like control, submissive, obey, and power. When people use them, I pay attention.

– Do you use non-verbal forms of communication in your dynamic?
Yes Master and I use non-verbal queues as forms of communication such as asking for the bathroom around vanilla people.

– Has your lifestyle language cause any bloopers in your everyday life?
Yes, I have used Master a few times around people I shouldn’t. Luckily his name is Michael so I change the Mas…to Michael usually quickly.

“Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.” -Edgar Allan Poe

Sharpie

I have a doctors appointment today. The doctor will most likely be pushing on my bare belly. So this morning I asked Master if he would help me make sure I have all the sharpie off me in places I can’t see when I took my shower. He said, “Oh I am sure you are fine.”

So one hour before my appointment, I pull my panties down and ask Master if he sees sharpie.

“Yes! Oh umm cunt is clearly visible.”

So 30 minutes before I need to leave, Master is helping me scrub sharpie off my body.

SCC: #113 & #17

tumblr_niqtrmAwpP1tuyadfo1_1280Prompt Set #113

– Do you struggle with feelings of insecurity, and if so, what are those challenges?

I think everyone struggles with feelings of insecurity at times. I am not different. Mostly my insecurities come from my chronic pain and not being good enough. I can’t do all I want to do around the house and with just life in general.  So then it builds insecurities that I am not good enough.

– What do you do to get yourself out of a negative train of thought?

Sometimes I just let it happen. I have a good cry, let the negative talk take it’s course. But after a good night sleep and some positive self talk then I can battle it.

– How do you think your D/s role and the role or actions of your Dominant interact with feelings of insecurity?

I usually don’t get insecure feelings from Master.  But early on in our relationship I did always feel he might replace me. It was something that was said during a heated argument and so any time he was disappointed or displeased with me – I would remember what he said and worry.  It was a bad tape playing in my head that I finally stopped. I know Master isn’t getting rid of me. He wants me here. We have been together for 12 years and I am extremely secure of my place in his life.

Prompt Set #17

– What are ways you can be submissive without a partner?

When I was single, I had play partners to fulfill my submissive side. I also served the BDSM community to exercise my service oriented self.

– What role, if any, does meditation play in your life/service?

I have meditated long before I was actively in the lifestyle and serving. I have found it useful for my life as a service oriented slave. When I am overwhelmed or feeling burnt out, mediating can help ground me and center my focus and intention in serving.

– What sort of criteria is there for you to play with someone?

When I was single and had some casual play partners, I looked for smart, strong men that I knew could over power my body as well as mind. I looked for compatibility in kinky desires.  Such as I am a masochist that wants humiliation and degradation and finding sadist at that time that wanted that was hard for me. But at least getting some masochist desires fulfilled was often enough.

– How do you handle denial (sexual denial, refusal of a request, however you want to go with that)?

It often adds to my emotional masochist desires. Being refused I can mindfuck myself with that.

SCC: #112 & #30

tumblr_niqtrmAwpP1tuyadfo1_1280Prompt Set #112

– How do you fulfill the basic human need for socialization within the context of your submission?
I am not sure I understand this question completely. I am going to answer it as best I can from my understanding. We have friends that are kinky and it allows me to be me. I like interacting with other kinky people and need that connection. My closest friends just informed Master and I that they are moving. So I am really having a hard time. They have been so accepting of Master and I. I had a bruise on my face and they didn’t even question it. Before we had a local kinky community and friends, I socialized via the internet. Mostly with blogging and FetLife. I know I am going to miss our local friends that are moving so much as we have grown close.

– If you could host a D/s dinner party, what would be the after dinner activity?

Whatever Master wanted and the other dominants. Most likely a play party.

– What would you do differently in public if D/s were more socially acceptable?

Address Master as Master. I slip every so often, but I wish I could just call him Master all the time.

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” -Elbert Hubbard

Love that quote that is included. We have some really fabulous friends here locally. Our closest friends are moving at the end of the summer. I am so sad. We are not only kinky, but we all have similar interests beyond kink. It is huge loss for me. I am blessed for the time I have had wit them and wish them all the luck in their move. I hope we will see each other again.

Prompt Set #30

– What are your thoughts on pain?

I am a masochist. I like the feeling of pain. I don’t think pain really feels pleasurable, but it just is pain and get fulfilment from the pain.

– Do you have any sort of dress code?

I don’t have a specific dress code, but Master has approved every piece of clothing that comes into the house often picking them out himself. We went shopping yesterday as I needed some clothes for Thunder in the Mountains as well as just the summer. He has a fetish for texture and clothing. He likes silky, satiny types of fabric. He likes tight clothing that hugs curves.  A couple of posts where he and I talk about Master’s clothing fetish: Good Will Shopping & Inside: Fashion

– How do you communicate?

Master and I communicate probably to nausea to most people. We talk and talk and talk and talk. We like to be transparent. We don’t like things to be bottled up so we talk.

– What is something you’d really like to try?

I want Master to beat me with a curry comb.

currycomb

Punching Bag

01kink14Master usually gets up at the crack of dawn. I, on the other hand, am not a morning person. I actually go to bed about 4am and wake up 9 to 10. This morning I woke up about 10 and did a few things and crawled back into bed to make some lists as we leave to go out of town tomorrow.

About 11am, Master needed a power nap as his afternoon was filled with back to back appointments. So we spooned into each other. He napped while I just kind of laid there lazy-like.

When he woke, I don’t remember what happened first, but I do know I was assaulted with open hand slaps, as wells as close fisted punches. Everywhere. There was no predicting where they were going to land. I was his punching bag. I tried to block, I tried to fight, I tried to roll away, and of course all that was useless. He is a big, strong man that can take me down quickly and easily. He would choke me to get me to stop fighting and then he would start all over again. Sometimes I just took it and other times I went into that self-preservation mode and tried to block or push him away. Again he would over power me and choke me. This went on a few rounds with him obviously winning each round. Finally at the end one round he growls into my ear, “I am going to destroy you. You are mine to destroy.”

My body became a ripple of sensations and my brain was going between scared because the tone of his voice was scary and thinking oh my how romantic. Big time swoon.

He then went back to using me as a punching bag. Such a nice power nap, don’t you think?