The other day Destiny wasn’t feeling well so she was tucked away in bed. She said she was feeling hungry so I asked what she wanted and proceeded to get it – cereal. Before getting her cereal I asked her how much cereal to milk ratio she preferred….such as more milk or more cereal or maybe just about even on both. Now I was just taking care of my girlfriend in this instance, but this can apply to serving too.
When I was first serving Kam (my former dominant) many many years ago, I made him a peanut butter sandwich and made it how I always made it. I didn’t ask him how he liked his sandwich. It just never cross my mind to even ask him how he wanted it. I just did what I was taught by my Mom and made it that way for him. He didn’t like it and expressed that to me. But before that moment, it had never even occurred to me ask questions before making it. Now all these years into serving it is just natural for me to ask those type of questions.
I ask questions – lots of questions – milk to cereal ratio? how much ice to put in a soda, ice tea or another drink as I know someone who has ice in their milk? how much peanut butter needs to be smeared on the bread for a PB & J? lightly toasted bread or almost burnt? how warm of water for a bath? one blanket on the bed or more? one pillow or 4? pasta al dente or mushy? coffee placed on the left or right side of the person? coffee – cream and sugar – how much? breakfast right after getting up or waiting? light or heavier breakfast? brush teeth before or after breakfast? squeeze the tube of toothpaste from the middle or end? wash cloth or shower scrubbie when bathing? soap or shower gel? toilet paper going over or coming from under on the holder? eating certain dishes with a spoon or a fork? The questions are endless.
Make sure you think about process. Are you making or doing something in a way the d-type prefers or are you just defaulting to how you usually make it or do it? Little details can make all the difference. So think about every things you do…go through the steps and process and to check if it matches the d-types preferences. Such as making the bed. A normal way to make the bed is tucking in the flat sheet around the foot and the sides, but Master doesn’t like it tucked in as he likes to kick it off his feet. Making the bed “normally” wouldn’t be his preference – so I learned this by asking questions and observing his behaviors. Because really good service can be about all the little details.