Online vs. Real Life D/s

Once upon a time I lived in a world online. Where what happened to me, online seemed to be my real life. However, I was awakened by a Dominant and brought to real life. I am very thankful that he took me and showed me real life Dominance and submission.

The road to real life has not been very fun always. It has been hard work and lots of hurts have happened but even with those real life hurts there still healing, I would never go back to the online fantasy world.

Online is intense but not real. Real life is intense and effects are lasting. Real life is like seeing things in a full spectrum of color and online is like seeing things only in Black and White.

The same things that thrilled me in an online setting don’t now that I have experienced them real life. There are things online I wanted so much, that I thought I would love that I hate now. I set things as online limits that in real life were amazing, once I encountered them.

Online is a Fantasy. Real life is experiencing and living.

An online collar is meaningful and shows some sense of ownership, but it cannot fully do the job a real life ownership based relationship does. Once that real life collar is placed around the neck of the submissive – it changes things forever. Submissive say that they are owned mind, soul, heart and body online but really the only way that is possible is by living D/s real life. So that collar in real life is like a capturing of so much more then words can express online. It is feeling that are shared between the Dominant and submissive real life as they look into each others eyes, as the fingers sliding the collar around the submissives neck touch her and touch her in ways that online cannot.

Punishment is hard to do. It is something that is hard to figure out what the punishment should be and what is the best way for the submissive to learn from this punishment. It might take a Dominant one hour or several days to think of a “good” punishment that will help the submissive learn from her mistakes as well not harm her emotionally or mentally.

Online, Long Distant Relationship, and 24/7 punishments are very different. An assignment is given to a submissive – it is to write a story. The submissive forgets – just totally blows it off, how this punishment is handled in each setting is different.

In all settings the assignment should be made up or done as soon as possible. The Dominant should talk to the submissive to find out why she did not do it and explain how prevent that from happening in the future and then what will be done to make it right.

If the Dominant and submissive are 24/7, the Dominant might bind the submissive and leave her in her binds for 20 to 40 minutes to think about what she has done. And then come in and talk to her about how she could prevent it in the future and what will be done to make it right. The punishment then could be that the submissive has a switch used on her and has to say “I will not forget my Master’s orders, Thank You, may I have another, Master?” between each slap of the switch.

In a LDR, the Dominant could have the submissive kneeling for 20 minutes before he calls and then talks to her about how she can prevent this from happening again and what her punishment will be. One appropriate punishment for forgetting the Dominants order would be making the submissive keep a diary of each day – each hour of each day for a week. This would have the submissive thinking of her Master more, insuring that every hour of the day she is thinking of him and not forgetting orders, wishes, and/or requests that he wants. It will show her how important her Master and his orders are for her as a submissive.

Online is a fantasy land so the punishment will be just online – in an online persona using words that just effect the moment in fantasy but not real life.

Orders can be given in all settings also. Orders in 24/7 Dominance and submissive effect real life always. It covers all aspects of the Dominance and submisisves lives. It requires the Dominant to have total control real life, where online and in LDR that is impossible.

LDR relationship can be a real life D/s experience. The small reality-based bits and pieces of life can be shared with the Dominant in a LDR as well as a 24/7 that will give the Dominant control. The submissive can inform the Dominant of her day or routine in her life, such as when she is going to the grocery store, going to get her hair done, and/or going to lunch with a friend. Informing the Dominant of these things before they happen so he can be aware and can have a say. The dominant expects to be told of these things then and can make additions to them or comments of them. Such as she is going to the store and he is wanting her to eat more healthy so he has her add more vegetables to her diet by having her buy more while at the store, if she is going to get her hair done he then can say he wants it I certain style, and if going to lunch with a friend maybe he wants her to wear a dress instead of pants – all those things are given to the Dominant as areas he can control from a long distance. These are not “big” things, they are everyday things that the submissive is giving up control and the Dominant is taking them and the responsibilities that go along with them.

A LDR and 24/7 D/s relationship is not just about controlling the submissive in the fun kinky things. (One thing that is evident and different from online).

Just because people live in the online fantasy land does not make them bad or wrong, it is just that I do not want to live there anymore. I have experienced real life and I suggest all that live online try D/s real life. Open your lives up to a way of feeling truly alive and free.

© within Reality: danae 2000 – all rights reserved

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