Twenty years in the lifestyle this month. I have been kinky longer than 20 years, but I found words for who I am 20 years ago. I remember doing a search online and stumbling upon an AOL bulletin board for submissives. I read threads and nodded along to many things said. I decided shortly after I wanted to know more. I sought out everything I could – discussions groups, books and offline and online community. Eventually I found many groups, but there was 2 groups I consider my home groups: SMART which is still around in Cleveland, Ohio. It has grown so much. I am really proud of them and all the amazing education they do and bringing community together. The other group isn’t around anymore, but they were called Carpe Diem and they were based out of Akron. They were really good at making everyone feel so welcome and it did feel like home because it was so comfortable.
Those groups as well as many other groups and events across the country – have helped me grow and learn in these last 20 years. I have met amazing people and learned so much about myself. Twenty years in and I am still as passionate about the lifestyle. Still passionate about being a slave. Of course there has been ups and downs, but all these years it has still been a part of my being to be a slave and connect with other like minded kinky people.
Thirteen years of blogging about my life. The end of October, I passed 13 years of blogging about my life. I have went through ups and downs. I have struggled to figure out who I was and come to a place of peace and acceptance being a his slave. I have posted emotional vomit, deep thoughts, drama filled, silly, bouncing all over, daily life, sex, SM, life as a slave, things that caught my eye, made me think, and amused me. But I wrote to keep growing and learning about myself and be true to me.
My posting habits have fluctuated over the years. I used to post quite a lot – looking down at the archives on the sidebar – you can see a number behind each year/month. In 2002, I had the highest number of posts – 420. In 2010, I had 30. Early on in blogging, I was trying to figure out what I wanted and who I was because after breaking things off with Kam I felt lost. Now my life is in a place where I always wanted it, so I don’t blog as much. It doesn’t always occur to me write when I am living this life I dreamed about for years.
I have known from day one of putting things out on the internet – I would get negative comments and people who didn’t agree with me and when you post on the internet you need to know that. It helped me grow through hearing those other views. Seeing things from a different point of view often helped me clarify my own even more. It has been a huge learning and growing experience for me and so glad I have kept up with it for 13 years here on blogger.
Eleven years being owned by Master on February 1st. 11 years ago Master and I stood on a busy street in Denver and he reached in his pocket, took out a heavy hardware chain and lock, slipped it around my neck, and locked it in place. No words were exchanged. He lifted my chin to meet his eyes and the unspoken words claimed me as His property. There was no words asking me if I would be his slave. No words of asking for consent. It was just a knowing of yes this is right for us and claiming me right there.
I remember I did not touch at first because I knew if I did I would start crying and we were about to be going into a store. So of course I did not want tears in there. Later in the car Master told me to touch it and the tears started flowing in the realization of it – the meaning of it and that I was really owned by him. I had felt enslaved to him before that moment, but that moment made it real for me. No denying it.
Eleven years later, I am still His just as I was that day. Each year just seems better and stronger. Feeling incredibly blessed to serve and love him. I look forward to each day with him. I love how we explore our dreams and fantasies together all while keeping our feet grounded in reality. It has been an amazing journey and I look forward to seeing it unfold in the years to come.
Ten years of withinReality.com. We are celebrating 10 years of having our website in March. As of the 1st of February, we are moving our blog on blogspot to the website. Some of my writing from the old blog will move over there, but some will stay there. I won’t be deleting the blog. I will be posting highlights every so often so that you can come visit me over on withinReality.com. Master is also moving his blog over there. Eventually Destiny might blog over there too. She is new to the lifestyle so I think it is a good perspective to add to our views.
I love my life. I am extremely passionate about the lifestyle and being a slave. Writing is an outlet to express that passion. So I will hopefully be blogging about it many more years. I look forward to writing and sharing many of them. I am always changing and growing and my blog has helped me in that journey over the years and know it will continue to help me in that as I pass many more milestones.
Please check out all of withinReality.com to not only read our blog, but see essays on the lifestyle and learn more about us. We will also be doing some giveaways in 2014 to celebrate our website turning 10 years so please make sure to check out this blog in March for that announcement. I want to thank everyone who has supported me at my previous blog and hope you will follow me to the new blog on within Reality.