This was written as a speech that danae did for SMART June 1999. At that time she was in a poly household where she was a 24/7 slave.
Right now I am in a 24/7 Master/slave relationship – it is a lot harder then I thought it was going to be. I want to share my experiences and thoughts on 24/7. I know that people approach 24/7 a bit differently – depending on their needs and wants.
D/s is practiced as a part of my day-to-day life. The commitment to obey, serve and please is always there. As well as the Master’s responsibilities, despite what we have to do in life. Things at time may be put off or re arranged due to real life constraints, but the underlying Dominance and submission are still there. Just as many of you are your children’s parents all the time, even when at work or out with friends.
D/s is my reality. It is not a fantasy. It is not a game that we do whenever we feel like. It is threads woven into all of my life. There is not an area of my life that D/s does not affect- does not touch. If we were not to have BDSM play for a week or the BDSM was just taken away, the D/s is still there 24/7. The submission would still be there. The Dominance and the control from my Master would still be there. The Power exchange would still be there. The D/s might be turned down a bit but it is NEVER turned off. It can be turned back up when and how my Master prefers it. The way we do that is by having different levels of Protocols – different levels of intensity in the D/s. My Master determines my behavior and the protocol levels. There might be days when I do not feel like being a slave, but I still am. I do not get to pick and chose when I can be slave and when I cannot. Now of course saying that does not mean I do not have bad days. I always have my submission, there just happens to be days where I want to say “Master, get it yourself.” And there have even been a few days where I have said things similar to that. But that is not acceptable behavior. And really it hurts me more in the long run when I let that kind of attitude takes over.
The levels of protocols are low, medium and high. These levels of Protocol – the idea of them – were taken from The Estate (www.the-estate.com).
Low Protocol allows for carefree – or relaxed behavior, yet with boundaries, but informal boundaries. There is the understanding of accountability, even though the relaxed attitudes and behavior sometimes lure me to go further and push. I learn through my Master’s guidance how far my relaxed behavior can go during this protocol. Sometimes it can go further then other times, just depending on the situation.
Here is an example of low protocol that is kind of silly, but is something that is real life – that happened in the household – the other day I was giving Master a bath – and I accidentally bopped him on the head with a cup. It was a big plastic cup and I was going to pour water over his hair for the final rinsing and reached up and well went too low and bopped him. I started giggling. I stood there giggling. I just hurt my Master and all I can do is laugh. I then continued to pour water over his head – as he was talking. The water rushed over his face causing him to sputter. He sat there sputtering – trying to wipe his face off with his wet hands. Meanwhile I stood next to him wiping my hands off on a towel as I watched him sputtering and trying to wipe his face. I did not even offer the towel to him – instead I asked him if he was ready to get out. I was walking away as he said yes, leaving him there sputtering still after almost knocking him out and trying to drowned him. I got into the bedroom – and was primping my hair in the mirror when he came in he said, “can I have a towel” I grabbed one and tossed it to him. Master playfully said . . . “how come when I read D/s stories, you never hear about the slave that hurts her Master then giggles, watches him sputter after trying to drowned him, or throws towels at them.” As he says this as I was laughing – I then hear my sister slave laughing in the next room because she got the giggles listening to all this, also. Now this was all done in giggles and humor. We were in low protocol. Those playful moods are low protocol, I follow my Master’s lead, and I react to his behavior on what is appropriate and what is not. Even in low protocol my submission is there, though, always.
In using the bath example for medium, I would never throw a towel at my Master I would hand it to him. I might giggle after I bop him in the head accidentally, but it would be in fun never in disrespect. In medium protocol there is an understanding of my place – I feel it – but it is unnoticeable to the outside “vanilla” world. My behavior reflects my Master’s goals, values and intentions at all times.
I would say low and sometimes medium protocols are hardest for me. In the article on Protocols on The Estate’s web site Flagg writes “. . . it offers many of the illusions, comforts and distractions of freedom, yet accountability and responsibility does not end during these times.” That is very true and that is why sometimes it is the hardest because, I, at times can slip and be too relaxed.
In high, using the bath example, I would present my Master a towel by kneeling before him, head bowed, eyes lowered and demurely offer to dry him off. This level is serious and formal. My Master has taken the words/thoughts from the Estate – “Complete obedience, without delay, or hesitation is required. All nonessential movement, speech, and thought are unacceptable. There has to be the awareness that every move, answer and behavior is being carefully examined and judged.”
Some other examples of the different levels of protocol are I am allowed to sit on furniture during low. In medium I have to ask permission. In high I am not allowed on furniture.
In low – I must say yes Sir or even my Master’s given name in some cases. It is yes Master always – unless with people who are not aware of our lifestyle, in medium. And in high protocol it is ALWAYS yes Master
In low I can talk basically as anyone would in every day outside contact. And at home my speech is very relaxed. In medium it is more careful. I can be relaxed, but must make sure that I do not take that having fun that is allowed in low to far, respect must be present. In high protocol I do not speak until spoken too. And have to refer to myself in third person.
During all levels of protocol I am to maintain respect for my Master, have good manners, acknowledge requests and orders, and if I have questions or need to discuss something – I am to express them. I am allowed to express my opinions, ideas, wants, needs, and desires in a respectful, honest, and open way.
Master is aware of all aspects of my life. My Master knows and trusts me. And knows I am capable of running my own life – but I do not want too. I have handed my power over to him.
My underlying thought in all I do – weather working, going to the grocery store, visiting family (who does not know of my lifestyle) or at home – is what would Master want me to do and how does my behavior reflect him.
An example of something that happened in real life – and involves the female submissve group – my first female submissive group meeting I attended I did not know in advance there was going to be a Dominant there, even though I had inquired about what went on at the meeting. Now as I said my Master trusts me. But I do not make the decisions in my life. I knew he would have – if possible wanted advance knowledge of this. But since there was a last minute change at the meeting with having the Dominant there – that was not possible. So I made a judgment call. We had a discussion a few months before about if he would let me play with other Dominants and at that time it was no – especially with Dominants he did not know. I am property and I am more precious then his car but I am going to use his car as an example. My Master would not lend his car out to a stranger. So why would him lend out one of his most valuable property? I made the judgment call that he would let me stay but would not want me to participate in the “play.” If it would have been at the beginning of our relationship, and the things we had discussed before was not known to me, I would have called him right away to get permission to stay. But because I knew my Master’s beliefs and wants I did not call. I did not express this to the group that I was mulling this over in my head weather I should stay or not. As the night when on – one female submissive member – being such a “nice” friend – said “I think danae needs an initiation spanking.” I said that I did not get permission to play – which was true. This member said, “Why don’t we call your Master.” My first response was “sure…I know his answer.” So I gave her the number to call him. He talked to me and his first response to me “There is a Dominant there?” I said yes, Master and explained the last minute change and he was ok with my decision to stay. And he then told me I could not play – because he does not allow me to play with other that he does not know. And also we had not thought of this – that there would be play at the female submissive group so it was something we needed to discuss. So until that could be discussed and because he did not know the Dominant – he said no.
That is an example of how our 24/7 D/s relationship works, my submission is a part of my being and my day-to-day life. It is who I am inside and it touches all areas of my life.
I have been asked how do you maintain this lifestyle around family, vanilla friends, work . . .
Well, we have not had to handle a lot of these areas yet. But I have friends that are 24/7 that are allowing me – to use them as examples.
I have a friend who is married to her Master and they have 4 children. They are 24/7. She maintains her level of submission even around her children. This means she shows her Master/Husband – the father of her children, respect at all times. She serves him dinner first, then the children, and then does not start eating until her Master starts. She sits at her husbands feet when they watching TV with their children. She serves and pleases him in a very traditional way so that when someone looking in from the outside -all they would see is a very loving and traditional home. There are no out ward signs of the BDSM aspects of their life around their children.
I believe there is difference between D/s and BDSM. D/s is the show or feel of Dominance and submission. There is service and outward respect and obedience shown. The BDSM part to me is the bondage, the playing, the pain, the S&M. so in their life the punishment and BDSM play is done behind closed doors. And often more heavy play is done when the children are gone. The D/s is constant. The Dominance and submission is evident in their marriage but in a way that is unobtrusive. The D/s part can be shown without lots of people thinking much of it or noticing it.
I have a friend that is a 24/7 slave that had a job as an administrative assistant and her boss wanted to give her a promotion – the job was going to give her more money, but she would be traveling 3 to 4 days of the week. She told her boss she would have to think about it. But really she needed to ask her Master what he wanted her to do. That position would take her away from her duties as his slave 3 to 4 days a week. She took it home to her Master and they weighed the pros and cons together and then her Master decided that she would not take the job.
If I was in a similar situation and the same thing would happen – I would take it to my Master to decide. As his slave I have handed all control of my life over to him. If by chance I had that job and lets say some friends asked me to go out after work for drinks – I would first call Master to ask permission. When we have friend’s call to invite us to go out or do something, I tell them to let me check with “him” to see if we have prior commitments. In reality it his decision and if they were friends in our lifestyle – most of them would just call and ask Master instead of even trying to ask me.
D/s is possible 24/7. It takes work and patience and getting to know each other. The basic thing is that I am slave. And I remember my status and place. I think always of what would my Master want in this situation. And my Master does not ever forget his responsibilities in having a slave, which sometimes I feel out way the slave’s duties.
This life as a 24/7 slave is what I have wanted as long as I can remember. It is a part of me – to be a slave. To serve and please my Master. To have strict control on me but shown I am very loved and cared for. And my Master does that 🙂
I hope each and everyone finds what they are seeking in their BDSM relationship.
© within Reality: danae 1999 – all rights reserved