Thoughts and ideas spilled into some essays. We have them split into 2 categories to make it easier to find: General BDSM info and M/s and D/s info.  BDSM info has general BDSM info and the community.  M/s and D/s info is about thoughts on dynamics geared towards M/s and D/s.

We don’t have all the answers. We are still learning and growing while walking this path. So please know these are not the end all be all of the lifestyle and all that encompasses. We are just sharing our thoughts and others thoughts. Many of these essays have been published in several BDSM newsletters. Just a few excerpts from some essays with a full list of essays on the sidebar menu.

As this year comes to a close, it is a time for reflection and gratitude. Most of us begin our lifestyle path not knowing exactly where we will end up. There are places within our community that not only help us make sense of our desires but offers the opportunity to socialize with other like minded people. ~ ~ It Takes a Community


Life comes with bills, the flu, dishes, and laundry, getting the car serviced, taking the trash out, going to work and so much more. Plus then add in kids if you have them and then you have less time. And everything keeps going no matter if you are in a D/s relationship. It means there is no 24/7 bondage, S&M and sex. It means living life the best we can do and trying to add in things to keep that focus of the power exchange. It is keeping it real within reality. ~ ~ Living Life within Reality Part 1


Compatibility to us is crucial in making a relationship work. Before getting into a M/s or D/s relationship, think about if you are compatible without the S&M and sex. We say that because we have seen so many relationships fizzle when life gets in the way (flu, bills, work, and kids). You need to be able to get along and want more then the S&M and sex. So we don’t mean that you should just make sure you are compatible via BDSM checklists and essays out there. Measuring compatibility should not stop at just those things….it should be taken into all areas of life. Do you like the same movies? What are you political views? Do you want kids? ~ ~Living Life within Reality Part 2


The D/s might be turned down a bit but it is NEVER turned off. It can be turned back up when and how my Master prefers it. The way we do that is by having different levels of Protocols – different levels of intensity in the D/s. My Master determines my behavior and the protocol levels. ~ ~ Life as a 24/7 Slave


He told me to turn around. My breasts were hanging out. I was growing very warm. I heard a car approaching as I stood there… shifting from foot to foot. He told me to put my outer top on but leave my tank top as is and to get in the car. I put the shirt on just as a car pulled in the lot. I felt the heat in my face move down my body. I looked down and walked to the other side of the car and got in. I wanted to run, but did not want to draw more attention to myself than I felt there already was. ~ ~ Adventures of a Toy Slut: Role Playing


I finish my shower as she struggles to rationalize what she’s thinking, how she’s feeling. She looks as though she were thoroughly used, exhausted and spent. As I get out of the shower, she remains sitting on the floor, bobbing her torso ever so slightly as she tries to regain her senses. I carefully ensure that she’s going to be able to stand up and finish her shower – rinsing off smell and the feeling of the urine. Almost liberating her of sorts. ~ ~ He Said, she Said: Golden Showers


There are very few absolutes in life. By our very nature, things change over the span of time. Coping and understanding changes leads us to better grasp on the evolving path which lies ahead. If we’re rigid and resistance to change, then we do not grow and we subject ourselves to the potential for falling down like a fragile house of cards. Recognizing that we live within reality, we increase the probability of growth and understanding of ourselves, of our place in the lifestyle and life in general. ~ ~ Changing Boundaries


We all deserve to find the right partner; regardless if we’re into BDSM or not. We have to be honest with ourselves to be sure we know what we are seeking. And that really starts with getting to know yourself. Because if you don’t know what you like, dislike, want or not want – how can you find the right partner.Once we figure out the magic formula, we need some sort of roadmap, a moral compass or landmark that can help guide us away from those impossible relationships. So it’s important to chant your inner mantra, write your Constitution, or have a friend who has rope tied around your waist that will be able to say: “whoa, my friend – look at what you’re doing.” ~ ~ Enthrallment or Wanting the Dream Now Fever