by Kim Attica
When we speak about service, I find we are frequently discussing managing a household, personal assistant skills, preparing meals, and caring for leather clothing, to name a few. One area which seems to go without much recognition is an area of service I find most valuable—entertainment.
As with many adults I have an incredibly hectic schedule. Our lives are filled with corporate America or perhaps you own a business, ongoing education, paying the bills, running errands, children, or caring for elderly relatives. Busy schedules cause days, then weeks, to slip away as we focus on the grind. I do responsible very well, and I bet you do too.
Here’s what I don’t do well. I don’t relax easily. I don’t give myself time to regenerate. I know all the old clichés that unless you are healthy yourself, you can’t be good for anyone else. Yet, in so much of our culture we’re encouraged and rewarded to push beyond that healthy space. How often do you go into work sick? Push to fulfill that obligation even though the people who will be present are plucking your last nerve like a bluegrass banjo? Agree to contribute to the bake sale even though you will pull cookies out of the oven at 3 AM?
This is why I value a bottom who can entertain me. I value a bottom who makes me laugh, tempts me to relax, seduces me into quiet time. I admire, appreciate, and in many instances require all the service one would expect from a service-oriented bottom. Yet, I have hired Merry Maids to clean my house. I have a mechanic to care for my car. I can work with a travel agent to coordinate travel plans. In some instances the hired help will do it faster, better, and with less chance of mixed expectations. They name a price. If I feel the service is worth it, I agree. There is little chance for a hidden agenda, unspoken hopes, mismatched desires.
Time is a valuable commodity. I recommend the book “Speed Cleaning” for just that reason. Why spend all day cleaning if you can accomplish the mission in a fraction of the time? I may want the bottom’s attention in ways that do not involve dusting my bookshelves. I select what’s most valuable to me in the time available. Even a full day only has 24 hours. It is my choice whether I want to purchase the skill or have my bottom perform the service. The value is in my perception of the service, not in some inherent value on a scale that determines “dusting” rates higher than “Double Pinochle.”
Without exception, every bottom I’ve been close to has either totally dismissed or dramatically underestimated the value of entertainment as service. It is an art to help me shift gears as I try to unwind after work. It is talent when a bottom can look past my focused, grumpy expression and realize that if they continue to smile happily at me, those knots in my back will loosen in mere minutes. It would not be as soothing or pleasurable to hire someone to read aloud to me when I am tired. It is a gift when a bottom suggests a new genre of book they think I will enjoy, and I do. Who knew I liked mysteries if they weren’t written by Agatha Christie? Not me! But my bottom knew I would.
Other fond service entertainment memories include:
- Long phone calls as I drive home after a bad day at work. Include lots of joking and laughter.
- Seduce me to take a nap. I never grant myself the luxury to nap without being seduced into it.
- Make funny faces on web cam. Talk in funny voices to make me laugh.
- Cyber-nuzzle my hand. Call me by an intimate honorific. Draw me gently away from a work day gone wrong.
- Wear an outfit to please me. Wear it with abandon even if it makes you feel silly. Watch my eyes light up.
- Telephone me at an odd moment to tell me something deliciously wicked you’re remembering.
- Play a game with me that engages me and makes me laugh. For me, it’s World of Warcraft.
What are the entertainment forms of service that enrich your life? Would be if you let yourself accept them as a top? Would be if your bottom was teasingly, seductively, persistent in the offers? It takes perseverance from the bottom. It takes a willingness to accept from the top. In a recent workshop presentation I shared with the group that it was vulnerable for me to accept my bottom reading out loud to me. The question was asked why that would be vulnerable. My answer? It strips away my armor. It touches my childhood happy memories. It lets the bottom see me, and my deep pleasure, in ways that don’t involve whips or chains or duct tape. It affirms that I am human, not some mythical perfection top.
That’s exciting, good, real stuff. I find a bottom who can do that for me has great value. I find entertainment as a service is often overlooked and undervalued. I think it’s one of the best gifts a bottom can offer. Now let me close my eyes. Let my work day fade away into the distance. My bottom is about to read me a mystery by Steven Saylor. I will drift off hearing a good story, and a voice I love.
That’s good. Real. Valued.