Anal Sex: Q&A

Anal sex is something that some people like and want to experience, but not everyone feels that way. Anal sex can enhance your sex life. Some find anal sex to be taboo, some consider it disgusting, some just think it is not worth the pain, and some think it is kinky. If you are going to engage in it anal sex or any anal play what should be said is do it right so that it will be safe. Anal sex can enjoyable because of sensitive nerve endings in the anus. Most people often experience pain when first attempting anal sex, but as I am here to explain to you as a person learns to relax the pain often subsides into pleasure. This just does not go for women; anal sex for men offers stimulation to the prostate, an organ that provides an abundance of pleasure during orgasm.When wanting to explore anal sex lots of questions come up and here are some frequently asked questions and answers to those questions.

Are there any safety concerns?

You should keep in mind 3 main things:
1.) Lubrication,
2.) condoms and
3.) common sense whenever anal penetration is taking place.

When considering exactly what “common sense” really is, it really encompasses several things. First major rule is to make sure that whatever touches the anus shouldn’t touch anything else. Next major rule is never, under any circumstances, take the penis out of the anus and put it into the vagina. That can lead to serious infections and other complications.

In order to prevent infections and complications from occurring, there are a few precautions every couple should consider. The big precaution is to use a condom on cocks and sex toys or any other insertables. Use a latex glove on hands even if just using your fingers.

Also I like to take a baby wipe and wipe after anal sex and if switching so that any of the lube that was in the ass does not drip down onto the pussy. Remember to wipe front to back. Baby wipes are made for the genital area and much less harsh than other wipes, like antibacterial wipes. It is also recommended to urinate and wash up after sex to rinse out any remaining bacteria and prevent a urinary tract infection.

Will I be stretched out so that I lose control of my bowel?

If you do it right, there won’t be any problems. That said, generally speaking there’s no relative danger of losing your bowels or being stretched out to the degree of losing control.

The best policy is to take it slow so that you work your way up to being anally penetrated by a penis. Keep in mind that the tissue of the rectum is very sensitive. It does take care, but if you take things slow when being penetrated and stop if it is hurting, you will not damage the tissue. By stopping I do not mean pull out of the anus. But have the person just stop and not move – not pull out or push in. Just have him or her stay still. That’s sometimes hard to do, because you’re instinct may be to pull out immediately because your partner is in pain. The important thing is to be mindful of your partner and what they are going through. If it is still hurting after they stop and you relax those muscles, then having the partner pull out is advisable.

The sphincter muscles have to relax to have anal sex. While it may seem like an impossible feat to try to un-clinch that part of your body, it takes time. It also takes practice, but by trying to tell those muscles to relax, you are also tightening them too. Think of it as “kegels for the ass.” Like with most exercises, at first it might seem hard to do but over time your muscles are going to respond better which will make them be in better shape. All of this applies to the muscles in your rectum. If you start noticing the muscles in the ass more you most likely be able to have more control over your bowels.

Can I get STD’s through Anal Sex?

Yes you can! Use gloves, condoms and dental dams for safe sex to prevent STD’s. Anal sex and transmission of STD’s remains the same if you were having oral or vaginal sex. AIDS, herpes, genital warts, chlamydia, syphilis and so on can all be transmitted through anal sex. So the same rules that go for oral and vaginal sex, go for anal sex: you should cover up and wear a condom. It’s not worth the risk to you or your partner(s).

How much of a mess is there?

If you have a bowel movement before have anal sex, there might only be a trace amount of fecal matter in the rectum. If it feels like you need to go while you are having anal sex then stop and go. If you don’t listen to your body then you might end up with a lot larger mess on your hands. Now if you do have a mess, then just go clean up. But in most cases if you have had a bowel movement a few hours before having anal sex you will not have a mess.

Condoms that I mentioned are for safe sex also come in handy when cleaning up a mess. Just take it off and throw it away. And again baby wipes for cleaning up. They are just even great for after any kind of sex to clean up. Keep a box in the nightstand.

Also, do not be too alarmed if you happen to see a little bit of blood. As the anus fibers expand, they may cause little tears in the membrane. Just as if someone had a large bowel movement with blood, sometimes this happens. If there are some initial signs of bleeding, continuing to have anal sex may not be a good idea. Exercise good judgment and talk to your partner about how comfortable they may be with continuing or stopping.

How do I get clean before anal sex?

Well as I said above, just having a bowel movement before hand can be enough. But if you want you could take a bath or shower and wash the area. You can even use a finger to massage water slightly inside the rim of the anus. This will also help to relax the outer muscles of the sphincter. Or if you want to feel even cleaner you could do an enema. An enema isn’t necessary in order to have safe, clean anal sex. But some people find that an enema reassures them about not having a mess and being more clean.

For first time enema users, most drug store sell fleet enemas. They are for generally for those people that need a laxative. So the first thing you do when you get it home is empty it out and refill it with warm water. You don’t need to take a laxative – you just want to get cleaned out and warm water will do that all by itself. After following the instructions on the package and giving yourself an enema, wait 2 to 3 hours prior to anal sex to give your body a chance to reabsorb water.

Also because I have heard of people that have done this, a vaginal douche is not the same thing as an enema. Please don’t flush a vaginal douche into your rectum. It is not made for your rectum and can potentially lead to medical complications. A douche is specially formulated for the vaginal region – just as an enema is meant for the anus.

Never had anal sex how do I prepare?

First and foremost: relax. The sphincter muscles around the anus will tense up and not allow anything to pass through easily unless you relax and take it slow. Some people may meditate before anal sex, or take a long relaxing bath, playing soft music. By incorporating an enema a couple of hours before play – also works as a mental assistant to a degree because it almost prepares the mind and the anus of what may be to come. Working past an enema is a good solid step towards doing other anal activity. Some people use enemas during their foreplay as a means of getting in touch with their partner before having anal sex.

When you feel like you’re ready, start slow by using a finger first, then maybe two fingers, then maybe move up to a small butt plug with lubrication. Please do not start with something the size of a dildo or penis. The basic principle is to start small and work your way up. The first time you try this, you may feel a bit of pain. Just stop and take some deep breaths and try to relax all your rectum muscles. A way I found to do that is to push out as if you are going to the bathroom and your partner gent pushes in that opens me up and makes my sphincter muscles relax more easily.

It’s important to note that anal sex is not for everyone, and if you reach a point where you no longer feel uncomfortable, then stop. You can always try again later. Think of this process as training for later anal encounters. A finger and small butt plug can provide profound stimulation when it is inserted in the rectum.

As I said at the beginning of the essay, use your common sense. The rectal wall curves and is thin so long, so go very slow. Don’t wear any jewelry on your hands and cut your fingernails if you are going use fingers in the ass. Don’t push the limits and go only as far as you feel comfortable because if your body is hurting too much then there is something wrong.

Can we just jump into anal sex?

I suggest having some foreplay before jumping straight into anal sex. Use fingers and a small butt plug to help the person relax before being penetrated with a penis.

Move your gloved and lubricated finger or plug in small circular motions around the anus. Pay attention to your partner to indicate whether or not he or she feels comfortable. Slowly attempt to push your finger (or plug) slightly inside the anus. Do not use force. Stop immediately if your partner complains of discomfort. If it is difficult to enter the anus, you probably need more lubrication. Or your partner needs to relax more. After warming up with some foreplay, then move onto penetrating the ass with a cock. Again use common sense – plenty of lube, go slow, even pushing in a little stopping – holding that position giving your partner some time to relax. Again go slow even though the foreplay will help it is still important to go slow.

How do you get past the pain?

Well as I stated above start small with a small butt plug or fingers. Sometimes it takes several sessions before being able to handle anal sex. Don’t be discouraged. There shouldn’t be any pressure to just jump to being penetrated by a penis or a strap-on. I’d even recommend having some extended foreplay before your partner even attempts penetration with a finger, toys or cock. The more aroused you get, the more your body will relax. Again remember, the more you tighten, the more likely it’s going to cause you pain.

Can’t get past the tip because of the pain?

The answer to the question above will also help with this answer. If you have pain when the tip is inserted, have your partner stop – not pull out. Just stop right there and hold position. Then take some deep breaths and start to relax the rectum muscles. Pushing out even a little to open those muscles and then have them relax against the cock. The pain should subside and you still might feel some discomfort, but it is probably from not having something pushing in and also from just being stretched open. Relax go slow. Each time it hurts repeat the process have the partner stop and get used to it. And soon you will be able to have the penis moving in and out of you. Push out, relax, take deep breaths and you should get past the tip and the pain.

Do I really need lube?

Yes you really need lube. You rectum is lined with very sensitive tissue that can rip if not handled with care. So using plenty of lube is absolutely necessary. Also I recommend a water based lube so that it will not destroy your condoms or gloves during anal sex. (That would be bad.)

What position works best? And makes it hurt less?

That really is going to have to something both work to find. There is no position that will really make it hurt less because for one person it might hurt less doggies style while another it might be spooning and yet another missionary.

Anal sex is not a sport – regardless of what you read online!

Anal sex is not for everyone. The thing to remember is to go slow, use plenty of lube and use common sense. I am not an expert on anal sex. I just enjoy and am telling others what I have learned and questions I have been asked about anal sex. Go out and explore and enjoy anal sex! Please!